I am so not ready to get back to college drama.

my stomach aches thinking about it.

Mirror of Erised

I hope I get to do what I want to do with my life. You always hear those stories about people that hate their jobs but are trapped in that life with no way out. I don't want to be one of those people, with all my heart, I don't. The decisions I am making now are going to determine whether or not I am satisfied with my future, and that freaks me out. I am still a kid but I feel like I am making choices that "adult me" needs to make. You know what I wish? I wish that I could sit down and have a talk with myself ten years from now. Just to check in...you know... to see if I would like myself to do anything different. That would be a convenient.

I do know one thing though, future me is probably going to hate the clothes I wear right now...but she can suck that up.

May Your Hope Give Us Hope

Every time I think about going back to school I literally feel like I am going to throw up. Unfortunately for me, yesterday marked the day of the one month count down. In one month, I will be back at school preparing myself for another year of tests, papers, drama, and stress. Don't get me wrong, last year at college was awesome. I loved it. I made some of the best friends who I feel like I have known all my life. I learned a lot about myself and more importantly, I discovered more about my loving Creator. I learned how blessed I truly am. But like I said, every time the thought of going back enters my mind, I feel sick. And even though I keep telling people I am ready to go back, I am actually lying. I want to stay here at home forever and continue the life that I have established here this summer. It's perfect.

Hopefully by the time August arrives, I will be ready to go back, but the likelihood of that is not very good. I pray that the Lord gives me a peace about it, because that is the only way I will make it through.

My brain takes a vacation just to give my heart more room

The past few days have consisted of filming, thrift shopping, Pax, and Twitpic.

all that doesn't sound too glamorous or exciting, but it is.

Andi and I spent $58 on used vintage vomity costumes for UMArmy videos. That was an adventure in itself. When we brought the clothes back to church, Nathan through a fit about how his dress smelled like throw up"...so then I proceeded to get carpet cleaner, dish soap, bath soap, Febreeze, and shower gel to clean it with. For the next hour, I sat in the church's shower and cleaned this monster denim moo-moo. It.was.disgusting.

There really was not point to that story.

Tomorrow is going to be a really busy day. The busiest one of the summer so far...and I am extremely excited.

It is going to be awesome.

I really need to stop blogging right before I get in bed because I don't write as well as I should. Maybe next time I will find time

to write during the day when I am more awake.

...but that's highly doubtful.

And I Would Walk 500 More

So far, this summer is everything I dreamed it would be. I am getting to spend it with my family and make up for the time we lost while I was away at school. I am also getting to reconnect with everyone else at home that I love. So far, it's an 8 out of 10.

I've been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls. I don't know what it is about that show, but I love it.

I've also been watching a lot of movies too. I've watched: Taken, Up, Army of Darkness, My Blueberry Nights, St. Elmo's Fire, Say Anything, Bridge to Terebithia...there's been a few more that I can't remember, but that's okay. I really don't even know why I wrote them all out to begin with.

I'm taking a PE class from the community college and I am currently trying to finish all the assigned labs for the entire course. I have a lot of stuff coming up in the next two weeks and there won't be time to do them, so I've made a goal for myself to finish them tonight. We'll see how that goes.

I keep trying to think of something else to write about, but I can't.

I have work at 8AM.

and about twenty labs sitting here just mocking me and my tired eyes.

good night.

Nostalgia's thick as the August air.

Today was a day that took me back, oh I don't know, about three years.

Correction, this whole week has done that to me.

It's truly a bittersweet feeling I get when I'm around all my old friends from high school. I love being together again as if everything is still the same as it once was. It's so carefree and comfortable. I can be "me" without worrying about people wondering to themselves, "what in the world is she doing?" They know me. They know my family, my life, and my sense of humor. They saw me grow up. I love these people in this town. I love knowing that they're going to be my constant for the next few months. I don't want this end. I love home.

It makes me feel uneasy to know that "the old days" are over. I guess because it means I'm officially growing up. I can say things like "my old friends from high school." It's mind blowing, really. Where did the time go? It seems like just last week I was packing a lunch in a brown paper bag, riding the bus, and stressing about remembering my new locker combination.

Life is funny that way. It takes us by surprise when it speeds by without letting us know we're forgetting to take it all in. Yeah...it's kind of annoying if you ask me.