I am so not ready to get back to college drama.

my stomach aches thinking about it.

Mirror of Erised

I hope I get to do what I want to do with my life. You always hear those stories about people that hate their jobs but are trapped in that life with no way out. I don't want to be one of those people, with all my heart, I don't. The decisions I am making now are going to determine whether or not I am satisfied with my future, and that freaks me out. I am still a kid but I feel like I am making choices that "adult me" needs to make. You know what I wish? I wish that I could sit down and have a talk with myself ten years from now. Just to check in...you know... to see if I would like myself to do anything different. That would be a convenient.

I do know one thing though, future me is probably going to hate the clothes I wear right now...but she can suck that up.

May Your Hope Give Us Hope

Every time I think about going back to school I literally feel like I am going to throw up. Unfortunately for me, yesterday marked the day of the one month count down. In one month, I will be back at school preparing myself for another year of tests, papers, drama, and stress. Don't get me wrong, last year at college was awesome. I loved it. I made some of the best friends who I feel like I have known all my life. I learned a lot about myself and more importantly, I discovered more about my loving Creator. I learned how blessed I truly am. But like I said, every time the thought of going back enters my mind, I feel sick. And even though I keep telling people I am ready to go back, I am actually lying. I want to stay here at home forever and continue the life that I have established here this summer. It's perfect.

Hopefully by the time August arrives, I will be ready to go back, but the likelihood of that is not very good. I pray that the Lord gives me a peace about it, because that is the only way I will make it through.